Now, I like a good joke as well as the next girl, but...
this is not fun-n-n-n-n-n-ny any more.......
..one minute I am goin down Rodeo Drive with my new Birkin, and the next....
I was ...like...not goin down Rodeo Drive...
and my Birkin was missin'!
<pause for emphasis>
I...like... looked around and I couldn't see nuthin at all..
It was all pink or purple or somethun....
It wasn't pink or purple...it was like...
magenta. That's it... it wuz magenta.
Gotta know those colors when you go shoppin on Rodeo Drive.
<pause to emphasize Rodeo Drive>
Quick as a bunny, I pinched myself to see if I wuz dreamin'
Now, I'm not dumb, ya know. I just don't see any sense in usin' energy that I dont need ta use.
But this had my little blonde roots in a tizzy.
So I get here and I don't know how. Somebody told me that Daddy made some kind of arrangements with somebody sometime so if somethun shud happen some other time I would be wisked away quick as a three-toed sloth to someplace safe.
I guess that's here, huh?
Now, what he fergot to menshun, is that I wuz supposed to be treated like the princess he always told me I am.
So I get here ...
.... and Missy Bright Crown tells me that I gotta be a Handmaiden...whatever that is.
I think it is some kinda servant or somethun. Now, I ask you..... do I look like a servant?
I mean.... I even sat at the pop'lar table in high school.
And don't even get me started on bein the Homecoming QUEEN!
I guess I gotta play along until this whole mess can be straightened out.
Magenta was never my color. It makes me look.... like..... gone....in this case.
So, this is me, bein' easy to get along with.....kinda.
I didn't even get to bring my makeup, so ....
They better not ask me to do nuthin' servanty.
I'm Angela, or "Angel" to my friends.
You can call me Angela.
Handmaiden by Accidently Oversightedy
Daddy's gonna have to get me a new Birkin when I get back.
P.S. Any of you handmaidens out there that wants ta come here, just whistle. I see lots more princesses than princess handmaidens. We need ta change the odds a little. An th' word is out that more o that magenta fog may be headed your way.